My TTC friend

I have this friend I work with that got married last year she has been TTC'ing since January this year so while I was on a treatment break after all the miscarriages I was going au naturelle with her and every month I think this is it she is going to be pregnant how will I cope and every month I go through the disappointment with her and feeling so guilty with my own thoughts and stuff so I advised her to see my FS just to look her over as she has never been to a gynae even. She went on Wednesday and he tells her she is not ovulating at all WTF I never expected that so he is prescribing clomid for 3 cycles and her DH had to go for a SA. I feel so sorry for her my heart is breaking and they are not very keen on very invasive treatment to have a baby so it is so difficult I hope her first cycle works and she is preggo because to top it all I am doing my IVF next month and she is the only one that knows if now wish that I didn't tell her only because I am worried about her mental state she was in shock and she has cried so much already I really feel for her and don't really know how to support her. I have read Teria 's book So Close and it is so difficult to be a good friend to someone TTC'ing as many of you will know yourself and I know with my experiences let's hope for the best

Boring blogger

Well at the moment there is not much happening AF arrived on Sunday so I have started the BCP so now for the wait until 13th October and I have decided to take leave from the day of my CD10 scan until 5 days after the transfer bliss I hope that being relaxed and well rested makes all the difference this time.all for now chiao

MY DR'S APPOINTMENT

So today I went to see my FS to start the process to get a script for BCP and a pre-IVF check up all is well and I will officially start the IVF about the 13th October hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaay I am so excited no just waiting patiently for AF to arrive and then I will start the BCP.

a bad day

I would like to find out from other's that have done or planned to do IVF what did you do to prepare your body and when did you start because I have done a bit of research and I am scared that I have not done enough as I am seeing my doctor on Thursday (AF to come the weekend) so that I can go on BCP and start IVF early Oct. I am now getting cold feet and scared sh#$@less and I am getting nightmares about going for ER but that I have forgotten to take the trigger shot (like I will let that happen) but they still did the harvest but then the embriologist was cross because there were to many eggs like WTF. I have done this 4 times including the FET's and I have never had the dreams.I am at a cross road and need a map or a magic GPS to tell me where to go what to do when to do it. I can't share this with anyone as I want to keep this between myself and DH so I only have my computer friens on OPM to talk to.I do not feel capable and emotionally strong enough to wait another three months either.I am lost please help !!!

my history

So this is not the first time I will be doing this IVF thing

1st IVF - I started bleeding 6 days past transfer blood test BFN

2nd IVF - FET and 10 days later a BFP and a beautiful baby girl born healthy 19/02/08

3rd IVF - FET blood test 10 days later a sad BFN

4th IVF- only tree embrio's made it to transfer day one blastosist and to early blastosist's

did HPT one day before bloods BFP but started bleeding same day went for bloods very good hcg bleeding continued bloods didn't double as it should and another agonizing 48 hours later it was below the first test level so a heartbreaking miscarriage.

Now going to try for the last time hope to have some frozen embies if it does not work because can't do the whole procedure again it is just to expensive you have to give up at some point but I am scared shitlessso scared on a flat BFN or a postive then to miscarry

the begining

Well here goes nothing I am going to try this I want to share my up and down my best days my worst days to vent or share my happy moments. In two weeks time I will start birth control pills before my last IVF. I hope to share my journey