I am pregnant

Wow I still can't believe it today I am 4 weeks 1 day this baby is due 17 July 2010
but I will be having a c/section due to having a previous one so it will be 10 days before the actual due date so that makes it on the 7 th my birthday and the next day ( 8th) is my 15 wedding anniversary but doc only operates on Tuesdays and Fridays so it will probably be the 6th or 9th will see what happens
I am slightly worried about twins as my first beta is on the high side altough hours and hours of googling I did not get any wiser it could go either way will just have to leave that is God's hands we can't control everything.

Beta day is here

Okay so I am 9 days past a 5 day transfer thus making it 14 dpo I go for my beta at 7:30 and let the receptionist know at 10:30 she phones me back at 11:11 and at first it sounds that it is not good news she sounds down (probably her own problems) she tell me my beta is 201 wow wow oh f&%* it sounds a bit high now I have something new to obsessed about jay I must phone Monday for a renewal of my yucky pills (cyclogest) and for a date of my first appointment

I am pregnant it just won't sink in

The Two week wait comes to en end

much sooner that two weeks I start testing with internet cheapies but either no line or so faint only I can see it so at 6 days past 5 day transfer I go out and buy a proper POAS I try and hold for a while but just after two the afternoon I crack I have no self control really and while i hold it almost immediately a second lines appears and I star giggling I just can't believe it





The dreaded beta can only be done on Saturday 07/11 my FS does not believe in HPT or OPK's for that matter.

Embrio growth , transfer and the 2WW

Embryologist phones to say that 19 of 20 eggs fertilized good
Day two 14 are at 4 cell stage and 3 at 2 cell
Day three 9 at 8 cell (WTF) 7 at six cell and 1 at five cell

Now I am worried because this is what happened the last time came transfer day we had only one blastosyst and two early blastosyst and I had a miscarriage so I am worried

Transfer day I have to go in at 9:30 they give me my dormicum ( I bit early I should think ) so when my turn comes up I am so out of it can't remember much I saw my embabies two expanded blasts (apparently very good) but can't remember much after that (I hope I behaved myself) I wake up at 13:00 go to the loo get dressed and phoned DH we go past work to say hello (they don't know what I have just been up to) I save that for a later post.

I go home and I do not rest much at least I am not obsessing about OHSS anymore

I wake up feeling so depressed one day past transfer and it stays that way for a few days.

It has started Meds Scans en ER

So I started my last IVF journey last week although the sist was still there after being on BCP for a month but the Dr was not to concerned so this week I finished my final meds and went for a cd 9 scan which revealed 24 follies golly gosh the most I have had so it goes without saying I was very bloated and uncomfortable but it is all for a good cause dr said on cd 9 eggies are almost ready so I had the ovidrel trigger Thursday night at 23:00 and retrieval was booked for sat morning at 8:30 I hardly slept a wink, funny one would think this being the third time I will we used to it but like they say once bitten twice shy. Ivf have certain goals you must reach firstly make lots of follies then the ER(ouch) and hope for good a fert rate and then hope they make it to day 5 for transfer and then get past day six ( my first failure ) the get past day 8 (had BFP but bleeding started and i miscarried in the end chemical pregnancy I suppose) then it is test day and then the next few hurdles as each week past and beanie hopefully sticks and the first scan to see a heartbeat and then finally 12 week downs screening and then a safe delivery (no baby in (NICU) so it is quite a whole journey still awaiting me. So it has been quite a week but luckily I am on leave until Nov so I can just chill and make a baby.

only a few days to go

okay so things are moving along only a few days to go until my final IVF I finished my last BCP this morning so now the few days until af arrives on Tuesday I nearly thought we will have to cancel this week because of various things going on in our lives but things are going ahead as planned I can't wait

My TTC friend

I have this friend I work with that got married last year she has been TTC'ing since January this year so while I was on a treatment break after all the miscarriages I was going au naturelle with her and every month I think this is it she is going to be pregnant how will I cope and every month I go through the disappointment with her and feeling so guilty with my own thoughts and stuff so I advised her to see my FS just to look her over as she has never been to a gynae even. She went on Wednesday and he tells her she is not ovulating at all WTF I never expected that so he is prescribing clomid for 3 cycles and her DH had to go for a SA. I feel so sorry for her my heart is breaking and they are not very keen on very invasive treatment to have a baby so it is so difficult I hope her first cycle works and she is preggo because to top it all I am doing my IVF next month and she is the only one that knows if now wish that I didn't tell her only because I am worried about her mental state she was in shock and she has cried so much already I really feel for her and don't really know how to support her. I have read Teria 's book So Close and it is so difficult to be a good friend to someone TTC'ing as many of you will know yourself and I know with my experiences let's hope for the best

Boring blogger

Well at the moment there is not much happening AF arrived on Sunday so I have started the BCP so now for the wait until 13th October and I have decided to take leave from the day of my CD10 scan until 5 days after the transfer bliss I hope that being relaxed and well rested makes all the difference this time.all for now chiao

MY DR'S APPOINTMENT

So today I went to see my FS to start the process to get a script for BCP and a pre-IVF check up all is well and I will officially start the IVF about the 13th October hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaay I am so excited no just waiting patiently for AF to arrive and then I will start the BCP.

a bad day

I would like to find out from other's that have done or planned to do IVF what did you do to prepare your body and when did you start because I have done a bit of research and I am scared that I have not done enough as I am seeing my doctor on Thursday (AF to come the weekend) so that I can go on BCP and start IVF early Oct. I am now getting cold feet and scared sh#$@less and I am getting nightmares about going for ER but that I have forgotten to take the trigger shot (like I will let that happen) but they still did the harvest but then the embriologist was cross because there were to many eggs like WTF. I have done this 4 times including the FET's and I have never had the dreams.I am at a cross road and need a map or a magic GPS to tell me where to go what to do when to do it. I can't share this with anyone as I want to keep this between myself and DH so I only have my computer friens on OPM to talk to.I do not feel capable and emotionally strong enough to wait another three months either.I am lost please help !!!

my history

So this is not the first time I will be doing this IVF thing

1st IVF - I started bleeding 6 days past transfer blood test BFN

2nd IVF - FET and 10 days later a BFP and a beautiful baby girl born healthy 19/02/08

3rd IVF - FET blood test 10 days later a sad BFN

4th IVF- only tree embrio's made it to transfer day one blastosist and to early blastosist's

did HPT one day before bloods BFP but started bleeding same day went for bloods very good hcg bleeding continued bloods didn't double as it should and another agonizing 48 hours later it was below the first test level so a heartbreaking miscarriage.

Now going to try for the last time hope to have some frozen embies if it does not work because can't do the whole procedure again it is just to expensive you have to give up at some point but I am scared shitlessso scared on a flat BFN or a postive then to miscarry

the begining

Well here goes nothing I am going to try this I want to share my up and down my best days my worst days to vent or share my happy moments. In two weeks time I will start birth control pills before my last IVF. I hope to share my journey